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Left wing media crunches Colbert bid

By Paul Blake

Stephen Colbert, South Carolina’s comedic prodigal son and host of “The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central was denied a spot on the S.C. Democratic presidential primary ballot.

The liberal media’s propaganda machine immediately labeled Colbert’s presidential bid as “a joke.” The S.C. Democratic Party blocked Colbert in a 13-3 vote against his name appearing on the ballot. S.C. Democratic Party Chairwoman, Carol Fowler, cited that Colbert had not done serious campaigning.

Meanwhile, Colbert’s campaign stopped in Charleston and Columbia and on Saturday, October 28 Colbert held a rally at the USC Horseshoe. Columbia mayor, Bob Coble, initially estimated the official number of attendees at between 4-5,000 strong. However, the liberal media, perhaps under pressure from Fowler and her henchmen, later reported the number as only “several hundred.”

It was no surprise that the mayor, a Democrat, would also label Colbert’s campaign a joke. “Even though it is a satirical comedy event it gets people to be part of the process,” Coble told Columbia City Paper. When asked if the city paid for any part of the event, Coble responded, “No, this was on their dime,” a testament to the integrity of Colbert’s campaign.

In fact no other candidate has been more transparent with its election funding as Colbert, who announced on basic cable that Doritos was the official sponsor of his campaign.

This didn’t stop liberal candidates like John Edwards from going on the offensive with a press release stating, “As the candidate of Doritos, his hands are stained by corporate corruption and nacho cheese. John Edwards has never taken a dime from taco chip lobbyists and America deserves a president who isn’t in the pocket of the snack food special interests.”

The real danger here: the 13 South Carolina Democratic leaders who may have ties to anti-potato chip candidate, John Edwards. This country was founded not on peanut butter, nor jelly, nor bread alone, but on the culmination of their combined strengths: the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And who, save Communists and Terrorists and Democrats, eats a sandwich without a side of chips? Colbert knows: homosexuals and the “Fowler 13.”

Waring Howe, a member of the S.C. Democratic Party Executive Council, was quick to attack Colbert’s credibility before the party’s true pastel colors could be revealed.

“He’s really trying to use South Carolina Democrats as suckers,” Howe told the Associated Press, “so he can further a comedy routine.”

Howe in the past has pushed for gay participation at the Democratic National Convention, so one can argue he is the one adding “suckers” to represent South Carolina Democrats.

The liberal media’s brainwashing will likely go on, as the networks will be the ones that choose our two main candidates (after the elitist Democratic party leaders prevent any competition).

Instead of a President Colbert, whose side-splitting, Dorito-crunching State of the Union addresses would leave even the most battle-hardened Islamic sheiks slapping their knees and guffawing at their TVs, we are likely to end up with a spineless, health food-eating Democrat who ignores the threats of gay marriage, scientific research and Mexican people.