Greenville's free alternative weekly

LTR’s 3/30/06 Archived LTR’s

I’m glad this bit has gotten more funny this second year than as viligant as these were

Dear SCANA, Here’s our new feature until you get off your asses and spend 50 bucks from the $320 million you made last year. We are calling it the SCE&G F$!k Eau Claire counter. While you agreed not to take Judith Jone’s property, there’s still trash among the tall grass you never mow right smack in the middle of a residential neighborhood. We think the Eau Claire should sue to move your ass out of their backyards. In our opinion, you are “a bad neighbor.” 31 Days of Fuck Eau Claire Columbia City Paper

Dear Pot Holes, We notice that you only get filled in around election time. Mr. Hole, this week right in front of our office, city workers were all over you. The only thing lower than you is the person in charge of the timing of this fix. Columbia City Paper

Dear Publishers, This newspaper was started with a second mortgage, car refinancing, blood, sweat and a little elbow grease. (No investors or special interests) Now that we’ve taken off, we thought it was time to address a certain low down piece of s#!t that has been stealing racks and boxes we invested thousands of dollars into. Our lawyer has been really busy lately but don’t worry, he’ll be reminding you what a turd you are for acting like there’s a newspaper rack lost and found. The CCP racks and the Snitch racks that we haven’t converted need to be returned now. The good news in the end is that they are replaceable, but no one can change the fact that you are a thief, criminal and just an overall unethical douchebag. Columbia City Paper

Dear Rick Quinn, We know you’re running for South Carolina Treasurer and everything and were just wondering what the hell you were doing wrestling around on the ground with Greenville Representative Daniel Trip the other night outside a bar in the Vista. Hey, you got my vote just for that alone. Columbia City Paper