Greenville's free alternative weekly

LTR’s archived from 3/16/06

Dear Tanning Beds, We realize you’ll never advertise with us after Chris McCarter’s investigative report last issue, but we forgot to mention the cover photo was taken by Imaging © DSI in Greenville, S.C. They do great work and they were really nice about not giving us cancer. Columbia City Paper

Dear Blue Tooth Hands-Free Cell Phone Users, Using those high-tech ear clips when you’re driving around in the car is cool but do everyone a favor and leave it at that. No one wants to see some Star Trek looking freak inside the bar, especially after a handful of mushrooms. It makes you look like an air traffic controller. So unless you just got a job as the Terminator II looking meter maid on Greene Street and want something to go with those bugged out Aviator glasses, leave your robotcockroach earpiece in the glove box. Columbia City Paper

Dear Food Lion, When we asked one of your cashiers exactly how many of those “Larry The Cable Guy” trucker hats you’ve actually sold in the past two months, she said “uh…none.” Why do you think that is? Because if Columbia wants to be a progressive town we have to start small. And starting small means no more Larry the f#!king Cable Guy, Git- R-Done f#!king trucker hats. Columbia City Paper

Dear USC, You recently sent us this response to a Freedom of Information request we filed: “Since you specified a limit of $30 and the cost is very likely to be hundreds of dollars, it is not possible to respond to your request.” Is the university actually concerned about wasting hundreds of dollars? We’ll be in touch again real soon! Columbia City Paper

P.S. Happy Sunshine Week!

Dear Cadidates, Play nice! Two challengers have made claims they have been intentionally shut out of forums. Kelly Coleman running for Council at large called us, and mayoral candidate Joe Azar shot off this fiesty e-mail; “There are more “candidates’ forums” going on in the black community that only the incumbents are attending. Meaning, only the incumbents are invited. The audience is being told that those in attendance are the ones that care about you, the ones that did not take time to come out, do not. I have been through a number of campaigns and seen a number of dirty tricks, but this beats all. “ Columbia City Paper

Dear Parrott Heads, We hope you get that Jimmy Buffett license plates bill passed. Columbia Police Department thanks you in advance for any way of helping them make it easier to reach their DUI quotas. Columbia City Paper