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Letters To The Reader 11/09/06

Dear Executive Director of the Five Points Association Merritt Brewer, Thanks for recommending to Five Points merchants to have “an additional sale” for the upcoming tax-free holiday weekend. We’re sure they’ll be happy to cut their bottom lines even further considering the Five Points Association has already caused them to lose revenue through lack of support during construction and openly supporting parking meters. “I would recommend having an additional sale to offer even more savings to customers,” you wrote in a November 7 email. “The tax free weekend will be a big shopping weekend, and the more incentives the better.” Here’s an incentive: rip out the parking meters and get the orange hats out of the street. And maybe next time you’ll give the Invitation Station in Five Points the business for your “Free Generica” dog and pony show invites. Columbia City Paper

p.s. Since you can’t return phone calls, answer simple questions or even make eye contact, we’ll be happy to continue to communicate here in this local Five Points based community newspaper. Dear Constitutional Amendment, I remember when you used to free whole races of people. Now you’re just the Amendment of the week, used to bring out particular voters to the polls. Next election, we hope to see you live up to your potential. Let’s say maybe a ban on homosexual, meth-addicted televangelists? Columbia City Paper

Dear Mayor McCheese and the seven dwarves of city council, Good job on actually listening to your constituents and forming a compromise to not ticket people for expired parking meters in Five Points on Saturdays. We know you don’t like to listen to the “little people” and probably don’t enjoy the “riff raff” showing up at your council meetings (is that why you cut your meeting schedule in half recently?) so we know it took a lot to suck it up and make a decent decision. Now, about that homeless shelter you’re building in the Vista… Columbia City Paper