Letters to the Reader
January 5th, 2006
LTRs archived from 1-05-06 issue
Dear PETA,
Who do you think you are? You’ve been trying to get he spurs knocked off our Gamecocks for years because of – what – “ethical” reasons? Because the state Attorney General wants to crack down on cock fighting? Whaaaaaat? Our Gamecocks have had spurs on them longer than Howard Dean was the governor of New Vernecticuit or wherever the hell he’s from. Anyway, PETA, you don’t mess with our tradition, ‘hear? -Columbia City Paper
Dear Joe Azar,
You say you want us to drop Savage Love? Fine. Done. Dropped like a hit of acid. Now let’s go to Jakes and hustle some college boys at pool. -Columbia City Paper
Dear NORML,
Knock it off. You’re revolution died ages ago. And don’t give us any of that “The Pope Smoked Dope” bullshit, because we all know that means you’ve probably been to Europe before and anyone who goes to Europe is a traitor. -Columbia City Paper
Meanwhile back at the ranch…. You know we’re sick an tired of all this talk about “progression.” Progression, this, progression that. Fuel cells, solar power, bio-diesel. Well, noooooo sir! I say tell these Veg-heads to go smoke some more of their “funny cigarettes,” dance in a circle and piss patchouli oil all over each other. Progression. Don’t want none of it.
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